June 14, 2021

Naija Sweet



6 min read



She served me with Jollof rice and chicken stew and I ate it happily. “Darling, I missed you so much, “she said , in a very romantic tone.I was quite perplexed and wondered why the sudden changed of attitude.
That dawn, I thought I had diarrhoea but I started vomiting, and foaming in the mouth. The pain in my stomach was unbearable. I fell on the floor and started screaming for help. My wife was lying on the bed, pretending she could not hear me.
I begged my wife to take me to the hospital. She pretended not to hear what I said. I repeated it countlessly but she still ignored me.
That was when I figured she might have attempted to hurt me on purpose. The pain was becoming unbearable and excruciating. I knew it was just a matter of time-
I was going to die.
Then she dragged me into the car.
She drove me on the streets of Accra, for over 40 minutes, while I was lying at the back of the car, in pain. She drove past three Clinics, two hospital, and five pharmaceutical shops.
My only luck was when we approached a police check-point that I had to forcefully, pop my head up to scream for attention. My wife started crying when the police Officer signaled for her to stop. She informed the police Officer about my situation and made him aware she was taking me to Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital. I gathered enough strength to also beg the officer to escort us to the nearest hospital instead, which he commanded some of his boys to do.The doctor confirmed my food was poisoned and I could have died if I were one minutes late!!!.
I turned to look at my wife.She was smiling and happy tears were even trickling down her check. Before going home, she gazed into my face and say, this time luck smiled on you.”Next time , you will be battling with the sharp edge of a knife.Don’t say , I didn’t warn warned.If it happened again I will not be held responsible for my actions because clinically, I have been declared as mentally unfit.”

Her words gave me the shivers but I was afraid she might change tactics and poison me again.
My wife acted all innocent and sweet, but I knew better. Since then I have been eating outside before returning home. Every trust and respect I thought I had for my wife was gone, and in place of that sentiment, anger and hatred resided.
From that point on,My wife’s aggression became pretty obvious. She became paranoid and any slight suspicion of cheating on my part resulted in aggressive behaviors from her.
If I were a minute late from work, she would try to hurt me. If she saw me talking to ‘anything’ female , she will hit me with a stone or anything handy.

It had been two months since my wife poisoned my food. Since then , I never ate her food , not even her “feminine food.” We lived in the house like total strangers. To think that this was the very lady I used my hard- earned money to marry just a few months ago was amazing. I thought humans should be given the ability to see the future in order to avoid certain troubles.
One day,I came home five minutes late. “Is this the time you are supposed to come back home ?”
she asked.
“No. I was trapped in traffic,” I began to explain the situation to her but this time I wasn’t successful. A bucket of cold water was hurled at me.It collided with my face , splashing tons of water in my eyes, nose and mouth.Damn
you,!!! one of this days , you will see a knife at your back, she threatened.
“Are you still seeing that Madam Boss of yours?” She asked me.
“No,” I responded.
She looked at me suspiciously and said , “Ok. “We will see about that.”

**Two months later **

I woke up one morning at 9: 30 a.m. God ,I was late for work. I was supposed to be at work place at 7.00 a.m. Which excuse would I give to my boss Now?For the records, I loved my boss but we never really had sexual intercourse before though we romance each other a couple of times.
Quickly, I took my Phone and called her number. My intention was to lie to her I was sick.
—-On Phone —
Me: Hello
Tatiana: Hello,where are you?
Me: Home.
Tatiana: Why are you not at work?
Me: I’m sick. I have malaria.
Tatiana: hmm. Is that really why you didn’t come to work today?
Me: Yes.
Tatiana: I’m sorry to hear you are sick. Can I come over to see you after work?
Me: No.
Tatiana: Why?
Me: My wife might get mad at you.
Tatiana: But I miss you. I want to see you.
Me: Don’t worry. You would see me tomorrow.
Tatiana: I have something to discuss with you.
Me: What is It?
Tatiana:(silent for a few minutes)
I’m pregnant.
Me: For Who?
Tatiana: What kind of stupid Question is that. For you off course. When you are enjoying my cunt, riding me like a horse,you don’t know there are consequen
Me: (confused) Erhhh.but Tatiana, we never have sex before. We only kiss and smooch a little. How come you are now pregnant for me. I’m confused here. Since when has kissing led to pregnancy ?
Tatiana: hahaha. Never mind. It was just a joke.
Me: Sigh. This joke is expensive.
Tatiana: sorry. See you tomorrow. Wish you a speedy recovery.
Me: Thank you.See you then.
Tatiana: Bye
Me: Bye.

—Phone call cut—

**That evening **

My wife came home feeling very excited. From my past experiences with her,I knew anytime she was happy ,it’s either she had done something bad or was about to engage in a mischief.
I decided to ignore her since I was not ready for any verbal exchange or physical confrontation. Tatiana sounded quite different on the phone …shhh..(My wife is around.)
Tatiana sounded quite romantic.
Well,You may not understand why I said “she sounded quite romantic”
Let me gist you on it. Ever since my wife poisoned my food , Tatiana had distance herself from me. She said she didn’t want my wife to kill me because of her. She couldn’t live with that.

**The next day **

I went to work the next day ,quite happy to be back to what Ioved doing. My boss Tatiana called me to her office. She was angry with me. She asked me,”why did you absent yourself from work yesterday?”
I was surprised she asked me that question because I told her yesterday that I was sick. Nevertheless,I told her again,”I was sick.”
‘Sick?” She sounded surprised, ” and you never inform me?”
Now I was confused…” but I called you yesterday on phone and we chatted.?
Tatiana looked at me seriously,” is this a joke or something?
You absented yourself yesterday and instead of apologizing,you are trying to joke with it?”
I became more confused when Tatiana said I never call her yesterday.
“Recheck your call log and the female number you called.”
Before I tried to cross-check the number ,Tatiana said ” I thought you said you don’t believe in extra-marital affairs,the reasons for which you kept denying me your d*-. Now you mistakenly called your mistress and thought you were talking to me.Before I tried to defend myself,Tatiana said, ” You are fired!”

To be continued…


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