Should I Keep Up Or Let Her Go???

Hi guys I’ll try as much as possible to be honest so you guys can lambast me as much as you can if necessary then gimme the right advices if also necessary.

So I had a fight with my main chick (let’s call her Tracy) who has been like a mom and sister to me. Yes she’s just what got my head straight and quelled my sexual adventures with other ladies. Lemme put it shortly that she neutralized my profound vices (philandering, smoking etc) to an impressive extent when she came into my life. We just had way too much in common and I can’t start going intricately but I know we had one of the most beautiful relationship. I was convinced she was the one even tho I already had stacks of negative views about marriage and all that. Fast forward she started flaking as the usual naija babe would do when she knows she’s got you 100 percent. So we had series of fights that I got tired of and started losing my senses and before you know we took a break.

So along the break I met this shawdy close to my new working place and I couldn’t get back my senses as I already lost them in the fights with my girl. So before you count one, two, three I lashed her as per what I was good at before I met Tracy. Now this girl got almost everything Tracy had or lemme just honestly say she was finer and hotter than Tracy, she got her own money as well as Tracy. OK lemme not start comparing too much but she’s doper when it comes to beauty and same level when it comes to independence compared to Tracy. But Tracy top it as she’s more intelligent, resourceful and sagacious compared to the new chick. Both are kind and caring. I felt safer with Tracy but I’m no where safe around this new chick (can’t go too much into details) plus I kinda went back to one of my vices (cannabis) when I met this new chick cos she was the type too.
To cut the long story short I fvcked up. I know I did and Tracy now can’t forgive me. She termed me an unstable man as I have even went back to my vices. She be asking me if I “smoke today? ”

Right now I disgust Tracy and i really miss the man I used to be when we were together. Now everything has fallen apart and she’s really expecting me to be begging her upandan and I’m not that type. Not pride I just don’t have that mind to be begging a woman like a baby. If I do am she sef no go like am.. Cos It’ll be more disgusting than ozo and nengi’s case.. I really miss her and want her back. Have blocked and deleted the new chick’s number cos she started doing too much (I no like suffocation from ladies. Just like ladies don’t like guy’s suffocating them too).. But I’m also thinking I should just forget about Tracy too and move on with life as she’s refusing to come back to a cheating boyfriend. But I still love her and I’m so willing for us to work things out again but she’s disgusted at my presence. She asked “what’s the probability that you won’t do it again if we are back?”

What do you think it’s OK for a bro to do my people? Insults and reasonable criticisms are welcome

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