June 14, 2021

Naija Sweet


Please Can You Help Me Tell My Parents That I Am Not A Witch, I’m Only Practicing Witchcraft

3 min read


Please can you help me tell my parents that I am not a witch, am only practicing witchcraft.
This is what happened,’ yesterday night around 11:50 pm in the night I was trying to sleep but sleep don’t want to catch me, I was looking for what to do to keep me busy. The worse is that my phone battery is dead and my mother is with my phone charger 🔌

You know that an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. I started thinking about Nollywood movie how witches do their meeting. I decided to practice it. I swear to God, I made sure that my parents were sleeping. I peeped in their room and saw them snoring.

I immediately entered my room, I thought I locked the 🚪. Then I removed my shirt and brought red wrapper and tied in my waist. I decorated my room to look like shrine and use some chalk I stole from church Sunday school to design my face.

I remembered in nollywood movie when witches appear they start laughing. Then I started laughing in loud voice not minding that it is midnight because I locked my door and that I don’t care if our neighbors are hearing me because it is none of their business. As I was laughing like witches I felt like somebody is watching me but I didn’t care

I decided to take the witch practice to another level.

I used my normal voice and shouted

Normal voice: great queen mother your servant is hear again
I changed my voice like a girl and said
Girl’s voice: my son you are welcome to our meeting. You have not did what you promised us
Normal voice : I will do it soon, I will not dis… (I didn’t even finish my statement when Mama Ada who is our neighbor pushed my door open and came inside my room with my parents)
My mother immediately fell on the floor and started crying and shouting ” my son have been possessed oo”
My father was holding olive oil and bible and he was speaking in tongue. I wanted to explain to them that am not a witch and our neighbor mama Ada was telling him not to listen to me that it was the devil speaking. My father started praying
My father : you evil spirit from hell I command you to die by fire
Me: (Nothing happened)
My father: ( start pouring me olive oil) I command you to leave this boy by fire
Me: I told you that am not possessed
Mama Ada: this demon is stubborn, I have seen ones like you before.
She called her son and later I saw him coming with 3 big canes.immediately my mother ran and collect one cane and flogged me in the back and my father pushed me in the name of praying. I fell on the floor and started shouting because the cane is painful. Then the stupid boy said that the prayer is working that fire is burning me.
My father and mother started praying seriously.

I asked them is that how they do deliverance in their church. Before I knew it, the stupid boy flogged me another cane. I tried attacking him. Then our useless neighbor mama Ada told my parents that the demon is manifesting.

To cut the story short, am in serious pain.they flogged the hell out of me. To make matter worse they tied me with rope since morning and called our pastor Odumeje.

Now my life is now unpredictable because Odumeje did one guy smack down on Sunday and the guy died instantly and he said that it is God that took the guy.
My own deliverance maybe uppercut.

Please you guys should help me tell my parents that am not a witch. It is just a practice


I spend almost 2 hours writing this joke. Don’t pass without reacting, commenting and sharing 🙏

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