June 19, 2021

Naija Sweet

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Living In Bondage: My Cousin’s Marriage Is Like Living In Hell – please Advise

3 min read

I need you to post this for me. I am very angry and I want to know what other people think about this. I live in Abeokuta with my family. Recently, I travelled to Lagos and before I travelled, I told my cousin that is in Lagos that I might come over to stay with them for like a week or so.

I noticed she tried to make it look like their houses is not convenient, she said,no space abi their house is full. I was like,I will manage..no need to be worried about me getting comfortable. I told her except she does not want me to come. Later,she agreed.

When I arrived in Lagos,she paired me to sleep in the same room as her house girl. I noticed the girl did not like me. She was giving attitude right from the minute I got in. I was even shocked to see she was also giving attitude to my cousin.

Like 3 days later,I asked her help me boil water to bathe…she just told me that I should do it myself,that she does not work for me. I got angry and told my cousin. My cousin just kept quiet and told me to ignore her.

That made me think like…why is my cousin condoning this rubbish? I asked my cousin why…she said nothing. That she has had plenty house helps..that they are all the same. That if she keeps changing them…that how many will she change?

I was like…that response from my cousin is not making sense. To be honest, I decided to mind my business until the last day. After all,I am only visiting for one week. It was clear all is not well but I decided to mind my business if my cousin decided to manage the girl like that.

When I got back to Abeokuta,I called my cousin,just to say thank you for accommodating me and all. And then,I told her that she should not have to put up with her rude house girl. That was when she told me that the husband flirts with the girl.

I was like…why…she said because she herself cheated on her husband 3 years ago and since then,the man uses every opportunity to taunt her because of her past indiscretion. That its and he does it with all the girls that come to work as house help.

I was like,so why does she accept it…she says she cannot do anything because the man would be like…I forgave you wjust flirtinghen you betrayed me. That she cannot complain when he just does ordinary flirting.

So I asked her: what if he is doing more than flirting….and she says…she has not caught him red handed. That even if she catches him, its better…so at least, they will be even and he will stop taunting her with her cheating past.

When I asked her why she allows house girls knowing the kind of husband she has…she says that her job does not give her time to care for her children. I somehow think my cousin is just wishing the man will cheat so she can rest from his accusations,so she keeps bringing girls into her home so he can cheat.

I know my assumption is crazy but how else do I explain this rubbish? I think the man is being unfair to my cousin. My cousin is not happy in that marriage. Cos,after speaking to her ..she started crying. I feel so bad and so angry. I feel like calling the man and telling him to stop hurting my cousin but my cousin begged me to keep my mouth shut.

Now,I am so angry and I wish I can help her or talk to someone who can help her. How can I just keep my mouth shut and mind my business knowing my cousin needs help(your advise), she is in a marriage where the husband is entertaining house girls just because she cheated? How are we even sure he is not even sleeping with them?

What can I do? she cheated Should I really keep quiet? But this is so wrong…I need advise please…

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