June 19, 2021

Naija Sweet


Is This Relationship Wrong For Me

3 min read

I am in a relationship with a guy. When I met this guy we were living in the same compound, he asked me out, I refused because we stay in the same place to avoid fornication but we were very good friends that people thought we were dating. So I travelled for a few weeks and came back and he had started dating someone in the same compound, I felt bad though but I had to move on. So after one year we all relocated to different state, he also relocated to the same state. Then at a point he started communicating with me asking me to give him a chance again. At a point I accepted.

The issue:
For over two years after service he hasn’t gotten a job. Though he engages in contract jobs. Also he had no accommodation of his own so visiting hardly happens.
He always calls, but we hardly see each other because each time I mentioned about visiting he gives one excuse or the other.
At a point i simply told him that he had been avoiding me. He said no, it is because he does not have a job and no money.
Even on my birthday he came because he felt I might be angry, not because he really wants to spend time with me. One excuse or the other usually comes up, so we ended up seeing only twice last year.

In January I had to request to visit him and his family, he was reluctant in the first place saying there is was no money for transportation, but I said I will foot a part so he agreed. I saw his family during the visit but I wasn’t really introduced.
My problem:
We don’t spend time together, before I thought it was because he was in a nearby state doing a contract job, but now he is back to the state I reside since December. After that visit in January I had never set my eyes on him but if I complain he will say money is the issue or gives excuse, though he still engage in some contract job. At a point he even asked me what plans I have for our relationship, and I told him as the man he is the one to decide. I once send him airtime and he told me not to try it again that I make him feel less of a man and I stopped.

Note: I had helped him apply for many jobs but non is working out, he can drive and also can install Dstv, but when I suggest him taking a driving job, he didn’t make a move.

So recently i lost interest in this relationship.

Another guy in my current vicinity has been asking me out and I am not really into him but he is nice too, but I haven’t fully unravel his character so I just had to accept though I don’t really love him for now but hoping that the love will develop but that joy that comes with starting a love relationship is not there.

Note: I am in my late twenties.

Should I forget this new guy or still give him time or continue with the first guy. My mind is not really at peace.

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