June 19, 2021

Naija Sweet


In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart

4 min read

I have a bf that I have been dating for a year now and he is a very wonderful Person, he is my first love and I really love him so much because he gives me a different kind of feeling that I have never felt before , but my dilemma is that I met another guy a month after I accepted to date my bf , we were normal friends for the first one month though I never told him I had a bf until he surprisingly made his intentions known to me . This other guy has been an angel in my life and we started hanging out frequently due to my bf not being around because he traveled out of the country , this other guy has been the most loving and caring guy that I have ever met, he is always there for me and showers me with so much care love and time . He then introduced me to my introduced me to his family ( his mum and dad inclusive) and they loved me at an instant and started welcoming me and calling me their daughter . Now this other guy is 30 while I turned 21 in December and my guy is 23 . This other guy has a great job and ready to settle but his not rushing me saying that he will wait till I am ready . The problem is that I don’t have the type of love he wants me to have for him , the thing is that I love my bf so much and I am not ready to let him go . My bf missed my graduation , my birthday and Val’s because he had some pressing issues though he sent me my gifts through mail but the other guy was there for me , came for my grad at gwagwalada, took me to a lovely restaurant on my bday and surprised me with a lovely gift and also spent time with me on Val’s day and it was so lovely. My bf is around but I see him only 3 times a month and I don’t complain but this other guy sees me like 4 times a week .

I have been in a romantic relationship with the new guy although we have done something’s apart from direct sex because I am a virgin . This other guy has sacrificed a lot for me but I wanna let him go because he really want me to leave my bf and stay permanently with him , but I love my bf so much and my feeling for him is not strong . He said the reason why I don’t love him is because my heart is somewhere else and the moment I leave my bf , I will start loving him as long as I concentrate solely with him.
He also said that even if I leave him and my bf should later find out what I did with him , that my bf will dump me , if not now but later and I will loose the opportunity of everlasting happiness with him (the other guy)

I care a lot about the other guy and I have feelings for him but I love my bf a lot , even though he loves me more that my bf does.

The other guy also said my bf is still young and might disappoint me in the future . I believe my bf will not because I can guarantee that he is not cheating on me and will not .

The following are the questions that keep on giving me sleepless nights :

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy.
2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age
3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else
4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love
5. Will I find another lovin guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me
6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy
7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy
8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?

Please help me with very mature answers because this will play a vital role in my life in the future .

Ladies that have experienced this come forth and guys that understand the way guys reason should help out pleaseeeee , because am still a novice when it comes to relationship issues. Thank you

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