I’m 19(turned 19 mid last month)and in my year1 in NAU of Nigeria..I’m a very reserved person and I have only few friends but how I got myself in this situation is what I don’t know.
It happened that last year September I went to write my PUTME I met this guy(Stan)he really got my attention and I must admit,I was the one that gave him the stare that probably made him feel free to talk to me…I won’t dwell on so much details but moving on the next month..
We’ve become very good friends and I’ve learnt so much about him,he made it clear to me that he recently broke up with his girlfriend (around that September that I met him)and he hasn’t totally gotten over her…even with my persistence to make him mine he still had some reserved way he talks and touches me…probably didn’t want to lead me on.but as time went by,he probably grew feelings and I know this cause he stopped talking about his ex all of a sudden(mind you,I never made him stop talking about her) and then he suddenly became the one craving for me and not the other way round..
Fast forward to February…
12th to be precise, he invited me to sleep over at his place and that was when we had sex…after that he stopped talking to me even after knowing he was my first… It broke me and I sent him a text to let him know… He called back almost immediately telling me how he feels bad for what he did and how much he still thinks about “her”..I vowed to stop talking to him but my heart could only take it for a few months…
After few months we came to good terms again (this time around we couldn’t see each other cos of the covid ish)and our bond became stronger… Or so I thought.
I noticed the way he replies my text so formal and casual so I had to ask him to define our relationship… He still kept going on and on about how he’s still getting to know me and all…that “we’re not dating but we’re definitely something” his exact words.
I had to move on …cause on the other hand,all these while that we’ve been having undefined relationship,there was this guy that has made his feelings known(Cole)…he was much different cos he is very much older than Stan, he is 26,a lawyer with a job and a house while Stan is 20 ,still in his 3rd level.
I took my time b4 I accepted him…cos I didn’t want things to get messy.
I called Stan and I told him about my new relationship but unfortunately he didn’t take it well…he went almost crazy, giving me voice notes on watsapp,crying and telling me how I broke him…in his words”this was what I was trying to avoid in the first place”…..”I don’t want my heart broken again”…I cried too and I felt like I betrayed him…he blamed himself at some point for not”claiming” me when he had the chance to.
I visited him once after the whole ish …and I felt complete with him …one thing led to another and we kissed… He wanted more but I declined, as if my conscience judging me was not enough… “Cole”(my boyfriend) called me asking where I was….I had to come back only to see his car parked in front of my house…he was mad and I have no idea why…or how he knows my excuse were lies but said I shouldn’t call him till I tell him the truth about my whereabouts.
So I told him and,oh lord he didn’t take it well…from then till yesterday we never spoke…he called today apologizing for overreacting but still needed to know what I’ve been hiding from him..
I care about him a lot and would never want to hurt him but my heart belongs to “Stan” and at this point it’s like me having to choose between going for my heart or using my head.
I know this p0st is long but trust me…I’ve never been in this situation and I don’t know how to get out of it…please help a sister