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I SOLD MY VIRGINITY
( His royal Excellency)
Page name: Authoress Ricky
Thirty – Four
I stood there and let the water wash over me. Joshua went downstairs to let his parents in. They’re so nice to me.
I need to talk to John maybe he can help me. I want to find my father, just to see what he looks like. Just to see the type of person he is.
I don’t want Joshua to help me. He likes to get involved with confrontation, which is something I don’t want to do. I just want to look from afar. To ponder.
I step out and dry my body. Taking my time, I’m in no rush to see his parents, even though they are amazing it’s hurts just a little bit to see how much love he has and how much I don’t.
I put on some olive green jeans and a white sweater and head downstairs.
They’re in the kitchen talking. I see Jess throw her head back laughing at something Jasper said and Joshua shake his head with his arms crossed over his chest.
When he notices me he looks up and smirks. I stop and smile back. “What?” I mouth.
He shakes his head and waves his hand for me to come over. His parents turn around and Jess gasps, standing she rushes over to me immediately.
“Hi, darling!” She smiles and hugs me tight. She really likes me, I don’t think I’ve ever had someone like me this much. Except for John’s parents.
“Hi” I say quietly. “How are you?”
“I’m well” she stands aside while I hug Jasper.
“Hi Valentina, it’s great to see you again”
“You too” I smile.
“It’s a beautiful day today how about we have dinner?”
“Actually were supposed to be looking at places today mother”
“Well we can all do that then” she smiled. “I’ll go get changed” she headed upstairs and Jasper followed her. Her heels clicking on the floor.
I looked at Joshua and he rolled his eyes.
“Don’t be sorry” I chuckled. “It’ll be fun” I kissed his cheek and walked into the kitchen.
“Eat something mother made lunch”
“I’m not hungry” I said pouring myself a glass of water.
“I haven’t seen you eat in a while Valentina” he grabbed a plate and started putting eggs, bacon and toast on it.
I sat down and sipped my water. “Joshua I’m really not hungry. I ate this morning” I whined.
“You ate an apple” he held the toast up to my mouth.
I looked at his face. His eyebrows crunched into a soft concern and his jawline is showing. He’s biting down again.
I bit a small piece of toast to make him happy. “There” I said with my mouth full, trying to swallow without throwing up.
“I don’t feel good” I pushed his hand away.
“Let’s go to the doctor” he picked up his phone.
“No” I grabbed his phone. “I don’t need to go to the doctor, I just need fresh air”
“You need to rest”
“I’ll just take an Advil before we go”
“Why don’t you just listen to me?”
“Why don’t you just not tell me what to do?” I smiled.
“You guys ready?” A cheerful voice asked behind Joshua.
“Yes” I said and slowly stood.
“Valentina’s not feeling well” he said still looking at me.
“I’ll be okay” I said hitting Joshua playfully. “Let’s go” I walked toward the door and grabbed my shoes making my way outside.
When we got in the car. Joshua was quiet and just focused on driving.
I leaned my head back, looking out the window. Trying not to get car sick.
When we get to the place it’s somewhere in the city. I look up and the building is tall and beautiful with lots of pretty apartments, decorated on the outside.
Josh holds my hand as we walk inside and look for someone who can show us around.
Our whole day consisted of walking in and out of expensive condos until Joshua found the right one. He asked me if a like a couple but I really didn’t care. It’s up to him, he’s paying for it.
As the day goes on I feel better but a bit nauseous. I just want to lay down and watch tv.
“I’d love to meet your parents” Jess says as we are waiting for our food. We chose this high end sandwich shop. That has five stars on yelp.
“It’s just me and my mom” I said politely. “And she’s not really keen on meeting people”
I look over at Joshua and he isn’t smiling but he barely smiles anyway.
“Oh is she not well?”
“She’s got cancer but that’s not what makes her grumpy all the time” I chuckle.
I really don’t want to talk to Joshua’s parents. Not because I don’t like them, they are so kind to me. It’s just that I don’t know how to register their kindness. I’ve never had people be this nice to me it’s kind of weird to feel it now. Even Joshua isn’t this nice to me.
“Poor thing. I had a friend that had cancer. She had the time of her life before her passing last September”
“Don’t be sorry” she laughed. “She was more than ready to go and I was ready to let her. I was happy that she was happy”
I smiled and nodded. Joshua squeezed my hand under the table and his thumb traced little circles into my hand.
Sometimes I wish I had a better family. Other people to look forward too. I’ve always had to do things myself and take care of myself. My mother is very irresponsible and disrespectful.
When I was little I used to pretend I didn’t have a mother. That I was grown and made my own money and had my own house all to myself. But then she would come along and mess up my fantasy.
Then I would wish I knew my father. I would want so badly to believe that he loved me. But I know he doesn’t because if he did he wouldn’t have left, he wouldn’t have left me with her. He would’ve made sure that I was okay, even if he couldn’t stay for long he could’ve checked on me and made sure that I was safe.
I’m so angry at him for not being there for me, for not doing what normal dads do. If I ever see him I already know what I’ll say. I’ll tell him everything he missed out on and all the things he will never know about me because he wasn’t there. I’ll yell at him for moving on without me. Tell him that’s he’s the reason I can’t connect with other people correctly.
Maybe I want to meet my father more than I know. Maybe I do need Joshua’s help.
To be continued