Please keep my identity very confidential. I am only confiding in you because I do not know who else to talk to. If you post this,make sure you protect my identity please. I am completely ridden with guilt and its killing me inside so badly my head wants to split.
The thing is, my younger sister and her husband got married in December last year. They had a problem with the apartment they were supposed to move into. They got duped by some scam estate agents.
Being newly weds and having spent all they had on the wedding, they had no money to rent another apartment in lekki (not real location)here. They were desperate and stranded,I had to offer them my place to stay.
I live in a well furnished one bedroom self contained. Been married people,I let them take my room while I got a foldable mattress to sleep in my sitting room. Things have been difficult for them but as family,we manage.
Especially with privacy. I mean, I sacrificed my bedroom for them. Changing in the bathroom was my only option if the husband was in the bedroom. Then,came corona virus (covid-19)shut down. We were all stuck in the house together.
It was hard for me as most times,I could not ignore their love making moans. It’s driving me crazy and made me horny most times. To be honest,I felt they were a bit insensitive but I was just being the good host.
So,I would take out my vibrator and pleasure myself when it became too unbearable for me. I know, I am ashamed to even admit what I just did. But I am a single lady and I am still trusting God for my own husband…that does not mean I have not got needs.
I did a good job hosting them and pretending they were not inconveniencing me but what else could I do? She is my little sister. Will I allow her and her husband to live with strangers or on the streets?
One night, I thought they had fallen asleep after their normal noisy love making session,I got out my vibrator and I was so engrossed with myself that I did not notice that my sister’s husband came out of the room and was watching me. He must have wanted to go to the kitchen or something when he walked into me in my shame.
As he tiptoed away,I felt someone passing and I quickly tried to cover myself. We both knew he had seen me. He just said sorry and hurried away. I was so ashamed of myself. I wanted to run out of the house.
The next day,we both did everything to avoid each other that my sister almost noticed. He later sent me a text that we should stop acting weird around each other before my sister noticed. He promised my secret was safe with him. I was relived.
Life went on normally. They have been raking in money to try and find a new apartment so they can move out. They been going out every weekend for house hunting but houses are pretty expensive on the island.
Towards the end of June, my little sister had left the house one very early Saturday morning before I woke up. I actually thought both of them left because that has been their routine every Saturday. I woke up and the house was empty. I was feeling horny (again…after enduring their torture from last night)
I brought out my tool and was helping myself. I must have been making some sounds cos I thought I was alone. Not up to 5 mins,I felt a hand rest on my hand. I opened my eyes in shock and it was my brother inlaw…my little sister’s husband.
I tried to rearrange myself but he decended on me with his lips. I fought him off but I was too weak..too alreay aroused…all my no was too weak for him to stop. I am so ashamed but my little sister’s husband made love to me right there in my living room.
Of course,our both senses were lost in lust. He kept saying he had not stopped thinking of me since he saw me pleasuring myself weeks ago. He said he was really turned on by me using a toy on myself.
It was wrong but it felt so right. I needed it…my body needed it…I had been tortured too much too much by the sound of their love making that I could not resist. It was like watching porn and not being able to resist the temptation after.
We both felt so bad after day. We are both ridden with guilt and condemnation. It was a big mistake and can never happen again. I have been praying to God to deliver me from this temptation.
They still have not found a place…I still masturbate with my toy thinking about their love making…I still crave my sister’s husband…I believe he does crave me too because he had been acting so formal around me. He tries to spend time outside before coming back home.
I need help. I am running crazy. They need to leave my house…how do I tell my sister that they need to leave without exposing the reason why? I am tired of pretending…sometimes I feel like confessing to my sister…maybe then,I would be able to free myself.
You see…since no one knows yet…the temptation is so strong. I do not want this to happen a second time. I feel my sister will find out about this one day…I am so dead confused…my life has been turned upside down.
I do not have anyone to stay with,that is without raising suspicion …I would have moved out. My poor little sister..she does not know how irrestible her husband is…he sometimes looks at me…and I just forget the concept of right or wrong..
I even sometimes fantasize stealing him from her…or joining them in a threesome..(am only telling you all these dark thoughts because you are a counselor…I will never admit this to any living person other than you or a priest)
I know this is wrong…he wants me still…that I know very well….Now…what the f**k am I supposed to do…
Please help me…curse me if you like but I need advise all the same….I feel my strength is failing me and my sister may soon discover from the way I am reacting…