June 14, 2021

Naija Sweet


Chinese Kung Fu Movies Back In The Days Had 7 Special Scenes

2 min read

Chinese Kung Fu Movies Back In The Days Had 7 Special Scenes.

Scene 1:

The hero is weak. Knows nothing about kung fu.
And Is always bullied.

Scene 2:

The Hero goes in search of a kung fu master to teach him some of the basic skills.

Scene 3:

After, 13 dangerous Scenes of impossible training techniques like sleeping on a needle just so that the body will be as hard as stone.
After, the rigorous training.
Our Hero suddenly now knows kungfu.
The over sabi go dey waka about dey find people wey e go help.
Dey chuuk chuuk eye and nose inside pipu bizness all in the name of saving people.


What goes around, comes around.
Our hero falls in love with the daughter of the Villain.
Or the Villain kidnaps a girl that he loves.
And beats our Hero to a pulp.

Scene 5:

Our Hero is injured. His master goes to confront the Villain but it turns into a battle of “i get kung fu skills pass”.
After about 45 minutes of flying around like witches and landing on top straw and maggi cubes all in the name of kung fu/Tai-chi masters who can defy gravity.
Even avatar no fit do wetin dem dey do.
Then, the Master is eventually killed.

Scene 6:

After Recuperating, our hero mourns his late master and swears on his master’s grave that he will avenge his death or die too.
Our Hero sets about training himself again.
The clip were he will be training and jumping up and down like the Congolese savages of 1862 will take up to 30 minutes before it ends with a final kung fu angry face Stare.

Scene 7:

You already know how this one will end na?
Our Hero will go and challenge our villain who will give him 2 blows, 7 akpus with 1 confam black eye.
After 12 rest in peaces and 32 smackdowns.
Our Hero will just lie flat like say e don die.
The Villain will turn away happy, thinking he’s dead, then our Hero will suddenly stand up and switch on his ” Beast-Mode”.
Villain will be like
Before you know it… Each blow dem go give the Villain go get different sound track.
You go dey hear somtin like
Push ya!
Push ya!
Gbum Gbum!
Gbum Gbum!
And one final blow that will be repeated 6 times from 3 different angles.
Then, finally. Our Villain dies.
And, our Hero takes his lady and… You know the rest.
Push ya!

Chinese Film will not kill me

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